~ Saturday, September 18, 2010 ~

No hangovers for me since Master Tonic came into my life. I rushed to get ready and head to the wedding of a dear friend of mine's daughter. I played Bottoms Up over and over in the truck, just to hear Nikki Minaj rap her part. The wedding was beautiful, and I cried like a baby when beautiful young ladies and handsome young men that I have known since they were babies walked down the aisle. I did become slightly irritated before the ceremony started with the lady sitting in front of me...my Facebook post...

"sitn in wedding ceremony. mom in front of me lets out earpiercing shhh evrytime kid asks question but mom herself has not shut up since she got here. 'like' if u think i should bop her head wth the heavy cardstock wedding program..."

I had 26 likes, but shortly after I made the post, the Mom took the kid and never came back. I did have enough time to muster up a silent Master Tonic burp and blow it her way before she took off, though. It was interesting being back in the church I was involved with during my separation. There were great things I took from there and awesome, sincere people (Kimberly H. I love you!) who came into my life, but being in there again after all of this time, the phony, ego-based atmosphere nearly suffocated me. I saw some familiar faces...the youth pastor's wife, preaching to young ladies to be modest but sitting on the front pew with her sisters about to fall out of her low-cut get-ups every Sunday, a couple of members of the choir with their insatiable egos, look at me! look at me!, the old batty church ladies whispering their criticism of the wedding party to their husbands, etc. Yeeesh!

The food at the reception was fabulous. My favorite: A raspberry and some lemon meringue in a tiny pastry cup...OH MY!! I was solo, and picked the right table at the reception, because I met some super cool people!

Myself with the Beautiful Bride

 

After the wedding I had a couple of hours to kill, so I went shopping. That's when I DISCOVERED that my DISCOVER card was missing. I called the husband and had him look a few places at home (in the right pocket of the denim shorts in the dirty laundry pile in the closet floor, in the backpack either in the floor on the pile of junk from the car or on the dresser on top of or under the pile of clothes...)...he was pissed. His voice was stale.  He reprimanded me for one hour over the phone. What I needed to hear him say was, "It's okay babe. You are busy. You made a mistake." What he did was take the opportunity to rake me over the coals to justify his point about how I should be as perfect as he is.  Blah. Blah. Blah. I was so disappointed in myself and sick to my stomach. What is wrong with my mind? Do I have a brain tumor? Why can't I "keep up"? I drank mixed drinks, margaritas & sangrias, with my friends at dinner, and could barely catch a buzz. I wanted to go home and clean and organize the house,  make everything perfect to prove that I am not a hopeless disaster. For about two hours I felt this way. Then I thought, screw him. He's not so damn perfect, he just thinks he is. I go above and beyond for him and the kids. For every one thing I fuck up, I knock twenty things out of the park. 

 

We had a blast at dinner. Sexually harassing SOMEONE ELSE'S waiter, quizzing the WAIT STAFF and PAYING THEM for their answers on why BJ's are called BJ's, looking for gluten-free dildos at Adam & Eve (I just made that on up!), (we even found a pair of panties for a three-legged woman!), salmon on butt-crackers, stopping up the hotel toilet, me sleeping soundly while others stayed up all night jumping on the beds, drinking shamelessly, defying the noise ordinance, amongst other things...I love these ladies, so many laughs. Jennifer has been making me piss my pants with her wit and humor for years..after all, she is the one that made me realize a couple of years ago that it could have been worse, it could have been a goat... Happy 30th Birthday to Kim, a beautiful person!