Go With the Flow

My boys and I have developed the most beautiful flow. We flow through the day and work through our issues peacefully, and it is absolutely amazing.

"Amazing things happen when you're doing something you love and you're just letting it flow..." My husband posted this as his Facebook status last night. He was talking about his own passions, of course, but it perfectly described what I have been feeling lately.

Even being on my own schedule, as my husband so frequently reminds me, I still managed to stress us all out!

I have implemented a few things that have turned out to work like magic for us, even though they should be common sense to me by now....

I went from over-scheduling home school and extra-curricular activities that had us running around like chickens with our heads cut off, to just staying at home. The boys are much happier! Now, we can slowly add one activity back in, and see how it goes. Why in the world do we feel like we have to have our kids in something all of the time, when all they really want and need is free, creative time to themselves? The more you have going on outside of the home, the less you are eating and drinking properly, the less you are communicating and interacting with one another, the more you are over-stimulated. I watch people living vicariously through their children on Facebook every day. I recognize it and don't support it, but realized that I was mildly practicing it myself! Ego and indoctrination run deep. Never underestimate how much you are being controlled by what you think you are not controlled by. 

RANDOM: **I remember, after the two years of going through my divorce when I worked and sent the kiddos to preschool & school, and then found myself back at home with my children through a crazy turn of events, thank you Universe! :) :) , I was nearly out of my mind, because I didn't know them anymore. I had to get to know my kiddos again! My husband was pushing for me to do it, and I was thinking of every excuse to cling to my job, because I had been on the front lines with my kiddos for years before, and I knew for a fact that going to work and sending them off to someone else....was much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much easier!!!**  

Even though I am a seasoned home schooler who knows that the myth of home schoolers not being socialized is complete bullshit, I still felt the need to rush my children around to every thing available to "show" how much they interact, when, in most of the activities, they can't even interact with the other kiddos anyway because it's so damn structured...just like school! (The shy, quiet girl that home schooled would have been the shy, quiet girl through the school years as well, dumb-asses!) Someone posted on Facebook the other day that their child got their first behavior "ticket" pulled after 105 or 150 days of school...because she couldn't stop laughing at something funny her friend said. I am so thankful that my children are able to "socialize" with such a beautiful variety of people on a daily basis....babies, adults, teens, kiddos of all ages, employees, the elderly, autistic children, male, female, gay, straight, black, white,  hispanic, rich, poor, all faiths, handicapped, disabled, sick, well, etc, etc, etc., and...laugh as long as they need to, because humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. 

I got to rambling about "socialization"...oops...

I was in the habit of cooking gourmet meals almost daily, to get an ooh and an ahhhh from my husband. Getting this oooh and ahhh fed my ego, and was the first replacement I used for ego-feed when I quit my job and lost the ego-feed I received there. I used it to PROVE that even though I was no longer bringing home $$$$, I was worthy. Getting this ooh and ahhh and illusion of worth took up a lot of time and money. I have gradually adopted the following menu plan: It will be organic, all-natural, and well-balanced nutritionally. But it will be from what we already have in stock, and it will not be on my mind all day, and if I am in the middle of something, it will not be ready to serve at 5:30pm. Probably not even 6:30pm.

Keeping the house tidy. My husband would say that I *never* kept it tidy enough to his standards, but I was going all crazy every day to make sure everything was in it's place, mostly for the Husband's approval. Well, guess what...he would come home, and find something else to complain about. Now, I keep it tidy enough for my satisfaction only. I no longer care about his approval. He has a faithful, educated, motivated, spiritual, supportive wife who adores him, and three awesome bonus children. I would say the problem here lies with his inability to be thankful and content, and not with my housekeeping skills.

It's crazy, but throwing the load off has given me more energy to be in tune with the kiddos. I feel that I am truly parenting them now. Moments I had a tendency to "snap" are being replaced with talking through issues, and recognizing and meeting their needs. I can feel the energy changing, and the benefits are obvious immediately.